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overly critical of self - old memories
Dec. 31st, 2005 01:47 amI tend to be overly critical of myself.
I have been looking at evidence from my past (videotapes, old notes, printouts of my previous website), and they don't seem nearly as silly or embarassing as I remember them. In fact, I'm continuously delighted at the interesting ideas this kid had (I'm biased, of course)... in fact, I have to go back to freshman year of college to find something I now consider really silly. But maybe this could be a selection effect? I'll tend to remember better memories that I exaggerated?
Anyway, it's funny how we distort our memories... I think Alex Ramonsky has written about why you shouldn't revisit old memories when you're in a negative mood: you end up seeing them in a negative light, and making them all a bit darker before putting them back...
Why do I tend to downplay my qualities and emphasize my shortcomings? I really should be more self-confident. Can I blame a perceived cultural pressure to be "humble"?
Btw, I hate people who give me ego boosters. It's like a drug, and I could become dependent on it, you know? Don't some people get narcissism that way? ...I think I've mostly made myself immune from it, though.
I have been looking at evidence from my past (videotapes, old notes, printouts of my previous website), and they don't seem nearly as silly or embarassing as I remember them. In fact, I'm continuously delighted at the interesting ideas this kid had (I'm biased, of course)... in fact, I have to go back to freshman year of college to find something I now consider really silly. But maybe this could be a selection effect? I'll tend to remember better memories that I exaggerated?
Anyway, it's funny how we distort our memories... I think Alex Ramonsky has written about why you shouldn't revisit old memories when you're in a negative mood: you end up seeing them in a negative light, and making them all a bit darker before putting them back...
Why do I tend to downplay my qualities and emphasize my shortcomings? I really should be more self-confident. Can I blame a perceived cultural pressure to be "humble"?
Btw, I hate people who give me ego boosters. It's like a drug, and I could become dependent on it, you know? Don't some people get narcissism that way? ...I think I've mostly made myself immune from it, though.
