It's always good when you think of something funny or cute to say, but a smile goes a long way. The point is not doing anything isn't much better than introducing yourself and looking silly (by the way, it's almost only in America that people introduce themselves before asking the person's name: that looks genuinely odd in some places). If the person is interested in you as well, you probably won't have to work very hard... although I guess the problem usually consists of showing yourself to be interesting.
Sometimes it's tempting to talk about something in a lot of detail, but it probably works best to put the ball on their court, preferably with a long-answer question such as "why?" or "what do you think about ...?". Oh, and definitely avoid sounding like a questionnaire or a chatterbox: I have had that problem. The solution is breaking the rigid structure with feedback, jokes, pauses, an occasional argument, etc.
Then again, if you're talking about something that you find interesting, but they don't, then maybe that person isn't so interesting afterall. But still, it's important to put yourself in their shoes: how would you react if you were approached like that?
But who am I to give advice? The best I can do is put myself in a spontaneous mood: a refreshing shower, playing soccer, listening to swing (which makes me imitate a groovin dancer) are the best ways to do that for me. Being spontaneous probably doesn't improve my success rate that much, but it works because I end up approaching more people.
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krja
(no subject)
Date: 2003-07-17 08:29 am (UTC)Sometimes it's tempting to talk about something in a lot of detail, but it probably works best to put the ball on their court, preferably with a long-answer question such as "why?" or "what do you think about ...?". Oh, and definitely avoid sounding like a questionnaire or a chatterbox: I have had that problem. The solution is breaking the rigid structure with feedback, jokes, pauses, an occasional argument, etc.
Then again, if you're talking about something that you find interesting, but they don't, then maybe that person isn't so interesting afterall. But still, it's important to put yourself in their shoes: how would you react if you were approached like that?
But who am I to give advice? The best I can do is put myself in a spontaneous mood: a refreshing shower, playing soccer, listening to swing (which makes me imitate a groovin dancer) are the best ways to do that for me. Being spontaneous probably doesn't improve my success rate that much, but it works because I end up approaching more people.