Approaching People

[gusl]

Some friends who know me rather well think that I don't care about such things and have no problem approaching people. Well, in fact, I do have a moderate level of anxiety when approaching strangers, especially when I have no excuse, such as selling stuff, conducting a survey, etc.

That is probably because I don't censor my words very much. So they generalize to "Gustavo doesn't care what people think". In fact, some people think that's something cool about me. But it's not true. The truth is that, just like everybody else, I want to have / develop positive relationships with friends and lovers (to paraphrase Pinker(?)), so I do care about my reputation. Even if "not caring" is part of that reputation. But that would be a mask, not my true self.

So yesterday, at an outdoor concert, I decided that I would approach whoever I wanted to, so I did. This consisted mostly of attractive females, and it was easier than I imagined. I guess it's been a while since I approached someone without an excuse, like ummmm... a week. umm.. ok, not that long.

Now I'm going to get experienced at approaching people without a second thought. If people already think I'm way that, I might as well live up to my reputation.

pjammer's Avatar Therapy

Comments

[agnosticessence.livejournal.com]

Okay, today I am going to the beach. I am going to practice this idea. Thanks for reposting the Avatar Therapy. That's exactly what I need right now.

[spoonless.livejournal.com]

Now I'm going to get experienced at approaching people without a second thought. If people already think I'm way that, I might as well live up to my reputation.


I've always wanted to do that.. but for some reason it doesn't seem to work that simply. My problem is... even if I can get myself to approach someone... then what? I never know what to say.

Sometimes I try approaching people with a one-liner in mind; but then I feel dumb if I use that and then they're waiting for me to say something else and still be as forward, and I'm just not. Let me know if you figure out a way around this problem!

[spoonless.livejournal.com]

Oh, and regarding that Avatar Therapy. I used to do that in high school a lot... I think it worked for a while, and I started doing it more and more often--but now it's just kind of part of my personality. I treat life like a video game, or at least as much as I can. I guess it's kind of like someone who starts smoking cigarettes and then after a while loses the high. (Not to discourage anyone... that's really a very loose analogy)

*approaches cautiously*

[meszaros.livejournal.com]

So how do you react when people approach you?

(I guess that is a silly question when I am about to find out, but oh well.)

I'm just curious, and thought I should do the on-line equivalent of approaching you rather than the on-line equivalent of standing there staring, which is quite impolite, in my opinion.

I never approach people, because I just end up rambling pointlessly, as I am now... my apologies.

The Approach & Non-sequitor

[radiantsun.livejournal.com]

Back when smoking was popular-- I would bum smokes to have a reason to approach people. I still fall back on that sometimes-- but less and less so.

In your profile I read: Dialog is my favorite method of learning, even if both speakers are just figuring things out.

Me too. I prefer that to book learning, internet, movies etc. Might be why i like interviewing so much.