Approaching People

[gusl]

Some friends who know me rather well think that I don't care about such things and have no problem approaching people. Well, in fact, I do have a moderate level of anxiety when approaching strangers, especially when I have no excuse, such as selling stuff, conducting a survey, etc.

That is probably because I don't censor my words very much. So they generalize to "Gustavo doesn't care what people think". In fact, some people think that's something cool about me. But it's not true. The truth is that, just like everybody else, I want to have / develop positive relationships with friends and lovers (to paraphrase Pinker(?)), so I do care about my reputation. Even if "not caring" is part of that reputation. But that would be a mask, not my true self.

So yesterday, at an outdoor concert, I decided that I would approach whoever I wanted to, so I did. This consisted mostly of attractive females, and it was easier than I imagined. I guess it's been a while since I approached someone without an excuse, like ummmm... a week. umm.. ok, not that long.

Now I'm going to get experienced at approaching people without a second thought. If people already think I'm way that, I might as well live up to my reputation.

pjammer's Avatar Therapy

Comments

Re: *approaches cautiously*

[meszaros.livejournal.com]

It really depends.

Oh, so how do I know whether I should approach you or not?

... focusing more attention on the other person...

Yes... so I should be focusing on you then,
*strikes a casual pose*
So, I hear you are going to UvA? Oh, what a coincidence I am too.
(I'm not a strange internet stalker, really I'm not! I hope it does not seem that way.)

Re: *approaches cautiously*

[gustavolacerda.livejournal.com]

Oh, so how do I know whether I should approach you or not?
My rule is "don't be shy". So to me, the question is not whether, but when/how, especially when you're trying to maximize the impression you make. But being the one being approached, I really don't care: just say hi.

So, I hear you are going to UvA? Oh, what a coincidence I am too.
Cool. So how did you find me? I actually only joined go_dutch after I saw it in your profile.

What are you going to study?

Re: *approaches cautiously*

[meszaros.livejournal.com]

Logic.

And from your e-mail address domain. (Which is where the me feeling like an internet stalker comes into play.)

I had actually seen your profile before though, from having knowledge representation listed as an interest, but didn't know then that were also going to amsterdam.

I hope you don't mind about this anyway. Oh, and while I'm here, have you been told about your housing yet?

Re: *approaches cautiously*

[gustavolacerda.livejournal.com]

Which is where the me feeling like an internet stalker comes into play.
I see nothing wrong with trying the obvious. In fact, I don't see privacy as a basic right, but that's another story.

Do you have AOL IM?

Re: *approaches cautiously*

[meszaros.livejournal.com]

I think some degree of privacy is desirable, but anyway...

No, I have icq/yahoo/msn, but no aol.

There's a client on here, but I don't have an account, that's easy enough to fix though.